I moved to Bali chasing a feeling — an idea of home whispered through the rustling rice fields, the soft chime of temple bells at dawn, and the warm, humid breeze carrying the scent of frangipani and earth after rain. I imagined roots growing deep, a place where belonging wasn’t just a word but a lived experience. Yet, what greeted me was a quiet paradox.
To be local here means more than knowing the land’s rhythms or speaking the language. It means carrying stories passed down through generations and honoring customs with humility. But beneath the beauty and tradition, there’s an unspoken tension. In a place increasingly shaped by tourists and global brands, local businesses like mine often linger in the shadows — seen as humble, second-rate, or simply “not enough.”
I have felt this deeply, like a lost soul caught between worlds. I am rooted in the soil, connected to the culture, yet drifting in a sea of expectations that place greater value on what is foreign, flashy, or imported. There’s a subtle sidelining — a polite but firm reminder that, despite belonging here, I remain different, somehow less.
It’s the feeling of standing in a crowded market, the vibrant colors and scents swirling around me, yet sensing the curious eyes that quietly separate “local” from “outsider.” Of speaking the language but hearing only distant echoes, as if my words float just beyond reach. Of belonging and yet being quietly held apart. This tension — between being local and not local — stretches beneath the surface of “home” like an invisible thread.
For many of us navigating this space, there is a quiet loneliness. A restless search for meaning, acceptance, and place that isn’t always found in familiar faces or traditions. The paradox of home here is that it asks us to show up again and again, to persist in our own way, even when the welcome feels conditional.
Maybe “home” is less a destination and more a daily act — a commitment to be present, to honor what is authentic within us, and to create belonging on our own terms, even when the world seems to prefer something else.
